Ethereum is almost certainly the number 2 coin in comedy gold. It will likely surpass Bitcoin in comedy gold long before it passes it in market cap. Thanks in large part to a spam-based marketing campaign on Reddit, it also has a dedicated base of critics. After its IPO, it was known as “Inthereum” for a while, infinitely powerful of course, as vaporware can do anything. It had a major version release, then another. Finally, a major smart contract, in terms of valuation, came along: The DAO. Not to be confused with other DAOs, before and after. The DAO was the biggest. It was going to be the best; it already was the best! Euphoria was off the charts. Until just a few months in, a bug was found. And the killer app became the flash point. What could they do? Well, hard fork and give the money back, of course! And so they did. “Code is Law”; but this is actually good for Ethereum because “[a]lthough some do question the analogy ‘code is law’. I do not. We just found out that we have a supreme court, the community!”  After the D'OH, Ethereum struggles to top its ATH comedy gold, but there is still a bright future for popcorn and comedy gold from Ethereum.
5 Largest Veins of Comedy Gold
Here are the largest comedy gold veins in Ethereum in potential reserves in our estimation in approximately descending order:
Cultlike euphoria - Now, this can certainly be said to be common to almost all cryptocurrencies. But Ethereum seems special here, even more than Bitcoin's community. There is a real belief here that this coin is going to change the world. This helps play into a "this is very good for Ethereum" mindset, wherein even the D'OH fork was a great success!
Vitalik Buterin - The best name in cryptocurrency! Young genius central to Ethereum and almost universally seen as the most important leader in the project. In our view, his endorsement and leadership during the D'OH fork led to that route being taken. That is, we believe if he had opposed it from the start, he may have been able to prevent it or at least have led to what is now called ETC being the dominant of the two.
And so in our view, Mr. Buterin runs a billion dollar cryptocurrency right now. He and his team seem to have done reasonably well so far; it seems likely they'll continue to thrive. To the best of my knowledge, confirmed on /ethereum, there hasn't been a drug market implemented in Ethereum or trading with ETH so far. But while it seems like a terrible idea, because of the lack of privacy and proven mutability of contracts, it seems like eventually there's going to be a major drug market accepting ETH just because it has such a high value. And, they point out, monero and zcoin’s core privacy feature will apparently be available on ETH after this next fork, so look forward to anonymous ETH fueling drug markets! And then the interesting question will be raised of how Chief Justice Buterin will rule on the case, whether it is worthy of an intervention or not. If not a drug market, then another buggy and hacked contract. Or a hacked exchange, and the question of whether to make it or its users whole, or "let the hacker win".
DAOs - From the beginning, it was proposed that Ethereum itself and its reserve fund would be turned into a DAO. How exactly this was going to happen would be figured out later of course. There was an initial estimate of 2016 for the transition.
Of course, in 2016, The DAO and the D'OH happened. I'm not aware of a current further push to put all of ETH's future funding into a DAO. But I'm sure the topic will resurface. And it will be hilarious on so many levels. The DAO actually collapsed too soon for peak comedy gold extraction. It had been predicted that there would be no consensus on any proposals and that nothing would be funded, and that there would be gold from that. But it was just a few months in when the bug was found. And while the D'OH fork was certainly a rich vein of comedy gold, it wasn't as rich as what the DAO could have been if it had floundered around for a year or so before the hack. Surprisingly, there's actually a running, apparently working DAO on ETH that was started even before The DAO: digixDAO. If it keeps on running, it will continue to be hilarious as other DAOs fail to learn from it. If it fails, there's all the more hilarity for Ethereum, making it the platform where anything complicated enough to look like an original use case will break. The very existence of digix is proof-of-comedy-gold.
Immutability - The whole central notion of immutability is going to be a recurring question for Ethereum after the D'OH. While there was a lot of sentiment of "just this once and never again" at the time, there will someday be another major issue, and the precedent will mean that at least a major debate among the community will be had. Ethereum is "mostly immutable". Bitcoin is far better protected here, because while it's true they've hard forked to fix a bug before, that was years ago and the community is far more fractured now. Ethereum has a demonstrated capacity to do both routine and controversial hard forks. This strength is also a challenge, as it will invite constant legal and ethical questions about when it's appropriate to modify the chain itself with a fork: that is, rolling back some or all transactions after major bugs, thefts, frauds, and so forth.
Concentration of funds - This one I'm just guessing at. Although rich lists do exist, obviously one entity like an exchange could pool funds in an address without one person owning that much, or one person could splits their coins among many accounts. But it gives a rough guide. In Bitcoin, the top 113 addresses, having more than 10,000 BTC, in total are 17.46% of the current supply [ 2 ]. And in Ethereum, it's true that the top two accounts are marked as exchange accounts [ 3 ]. Still, having lots of funds concentrated in a single exchange wallet seems to still have some potential for comedy gold. In Ethereum, the top 50 addresses have more than double the proportion of the top 113 in Bitcoin, a bit over 40% of the current supply. My guess would be there are still a lot of people who invested heavily in the initial ICO who have held onto a significant portion of their initial ETH. While some of these top addresses are exchanges, I think there are probably many individuals represented in here as well, and every one of them is a multimillionaire from this account alone.
Of course, so far, because ETH is still smaller than BTC in overall market cap, these top addresses aren't as huge as the top addresses in Bitcoin in current market value. But if ETH were to overtake BTC's current position with a relatively unchanged distribution, there would be some real comedy gold coming off this factor. Cribs could have a spin-off Ethereum series. This concentration was a part of making The D'OH what it was in my view as well: in Bitcoin, there would never have been so much of the coin tied up in one particular venture, at least not now. But in Ethereum, this concentration and groupthink can combine to hilarious effect.
A Brief History of Comedy Gold in Ethereum:
“Laws, like sausages, cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made” - John Godfrey Saxe In the beginning, there was an offering. The greatest coin the world had ever seen; step right up and buy it! There was even code; this is no vaporware! Sure, there was more work to be done, but the ICO would fund that work, the founders would get a little, and create a reserve for the future and the rest would be mineable. There was also some of the most vociferous objections on BCT, declaring that the stake allocated to the founders was too large, pointing to other coins which had done smaller or done without. Arguing against the reserve; arguing against having a presale at all. Some people, of course, completely failing to read the documentation accurately to see what was even being proposed. And an almost complete radio silence from this large team working around the clock on Ethereum. It took some months from when the initial ANN was made until the sale actually started, but by the time they had their sale, they had perhaps the best documentation at launch to-date. Of course, there were some areas which seemed to lack some detail, like the budgeting, but never mind that, it was finally launching! Launching the sale, at least. In July and August of 2014, Ether was first sold. It was described as “fuel” for the virtual machine they were going to build [ 4 ]. And then, a year later, Ethereum was released live. By July 2016, it had already had its first major crisis after The DAO was hacked and the D’OH fork introduced in response. But the fact that Ethereum was ever released, and that it was released so quickly, is truly incredible. There was more than one person who thought that the stated goals of Ethereum were not possible. And, of course, many initial goals and deadlines didn’t happen. But unlike the railbirds on BCT were convinced, the team did not fail nor did it run off with the money. They were given a blank check, and they actually delivered a working product which has been successful so far financially. Of course, having its flagship smart contract go belly-up quite so quickly after having finally gotten a “killer app” seems rather unfortunate. The oracle problem (the question of how to reliably relate smart contracts to the outside world) seems unresolved, but partial solutions are inevitable and can only serve to make increasingly complex and thus popcorn-loaded contracts possible. Right now, all seems relatively quiet. But rest assured, there remains plenty of euphoria and gas to drive many more cycles of comedy gold production. Ether huffers need something to throw their ETH at. The more complicated; the better! Given some of the creations that have been made in NXT, for instance, a few more years of creativity on ETH should yield some very complicated and pop-corn rich smart contracts.
I was relaxing in my office, waiting for business. It was a dingy little one-room affair, but it would serve for now. Particularly with no clients. I had poured myself a double shot, and was about to enjoy it, when suddenly the door opened. A man walked in, familiar somehow although I couldn't place him. I reached out my hand instinctively, and instead of shaking it, he handed me a dollar. "Hello?" He pointed at the sign in the window, advertising a promotional one dollar gold survey for the first client. Always astute, I quickly surmised he wished to hire me. "Of course, sir! What coin would you like?" "Ethereum." "Certainly! And may I have your name for the log?" "Tyler Durdan." And with that, my newest client left. I downed my double and poured a generous triple to follow it. This was going to be a long day. Ethereum was the ultimate prize in my line of work. The coin which proved the adage that truth is stranger than fiction; which had proved itself a lucrative source of comedy gold. And who am I? Guy Noir, private comedy gold surveyor. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Premined scamcoins crashing on noname exchanges. I watched popcorn glitter in the dark on forgotten the BCT threads. Popcorn junkies strung out on a high, and I've delivered them more comedy gold, popcorn, salt and butter. There is never enough. A dark night in a world that never sleeps and knows how to keep its secrets...But on the 12th Floor of the Acme Building, one man is still trying to find the answers to life's persistent questions: Guy Noir, private comedy gold surveyor. Thank you, Narrator. Now, as I was saying, Ethereum is overloaded with gold. But the core is pretty straightforward: Ethereum promised "smart contracts". Immutable. Turing-complete. This was what Bitcoin lacked. The bee's knees. Crypto 2.0. What could go wrong? We'll skip over the "Inthereum" period. Perhaps the vaporware criticism was never fair: from their version, they had Proof-of-Concept code; they went through some iterations and eventually got to release. Let's note clearly that there was plenty of time to determine some sort of official policy for what to do about a buggy or improperly written contract losing money. In Bitcoin, every hack has been a SFYL event, although it’s true that a bug in the coin itself was hard forked away before. Mt. Gox tried to blame malleability, but there was never a fork to try to recover funds. In Ethereum, immutability was often talked about. So far as I saw in skimming, “what if” scenarios to undo bugs wasn’t brought up front-and-center. Nor was immutability being debated that I saw. So Ethereum releases. A major contract is launched, The DAO, which gets an astonishing portion of ETH invested. The world's largest crowd sale as they ultimately called it. All the major players in ETH buy into it, including Vitalik Buterin, the creator of Ethereum and the best name in cryptocurrency. Just as they're starting to get into the comedy gold that The DAO doesn't really have a purpose, a bug is discovered. And just as its leader is assuring everyone that no funds are at risk, the funds start being drained out of the contract by an unknown party. And suddenly immutable means "immutable unless we screw up on the biggest contract which everyone important has invested in heavily". Ethereum ultimately hard-forks to return investor funds and basically unwind The DAO. After claiming that the bug was in the contract, the coin itself is hard forked to fix the issue. And the first Ethereum clone results, one which simply does not follow the new hard fork. So the natural question is: when can a contract be changed? In the first page of the Ethereum launch, this question was implied by asking about what would happen if there were an assassination market hosted by a smart contract on Ethereum. Of course, in reality, Ethereum is not really functional enough at present to enforce such a contract, but the question remains in case Ethereum were to actually attain a functioning smart contract platform. Attempted reference to Tears in rain monologue, credit to Rutger Hauer Guy Noir and narrator text lovingly stolen from Prairie Home Companion's Guy Noir, by Garrison B. Keillor.
Filed for psych eval Twenty pages into the BCT ANN, I believe I have contracted cancer, again. I’m reminded of why I don’t generally go on BCT. As bad as altcoin forums tend to be for their circlejerking, it’s almost better than the, well, there’s really no way to put it other than FUD that inevitably appears in response to anything. Of course, it’s not paid shilling so much as it is willful and vocal ignorance. For all the critiques in that thread, most of them are utter nonsense and simply are misreading the initial information. On the other hand, it’s January 27th in the thread by now, with February 1st and the pre-sale start, and they don’t have their “prospectus” up yet. I also haven’t seen the change in mining rate yet. Side note: eMunie; wtf? I guess I missed something? Either it’s gone through a namechange or it’s dead, because a quick coinmarketcap search didn’t find anything. A comedy gold mining project for another day. Great; spoiler alert: fundraiser delayed apparently, so even more cancer to read through in that thread on the way to getting to a prospectus! The first 44 pages of the thread was summarized thus: “I want to believe. Why are you not speaking to us? Throw me a bone. Just tell me what I want to hear, and I'll gladly throw my money in.” [ 5 ] Would that I had only had to read that quote rather than all 44 pages, and facing many more. Pages and comments dragged on as I waded through the low-grade popcorn. When would this prospectus be released, so my torment would end? Oh god: a side-thread shows that by the time they get to April, there’s still no prospectus or presale date or estimate of when there may be a date [ 6 ]. It’s time to give up on reading through the cancerous mainthread on BCT and start jumping ahead pages to find the pre-sale and prospectus. Okay, finally, in July, they release documents and start the sale [ 7 ]. Good enough. I have mountains of links on my desk. Comedy gold is overflowing, but this is a survey expedition, not a mining operation. But by the time it’s surveyed, there’s always so much gold lined up to mine it gets hard to leave it behind and leave with the samples. It’s time to hammer out some copy and close this file. Folks, we hope you’ve enjoyed this descent into madness and comedy gold brought to you by the Comedy Gold Survey Company and our patron Tyler Durden. Do you need more comedy gold in your life? Of course you do! So please donate today; every $1 helps! I’ve added a new special: $5 lets you choose the next coin to be surveyed! Thanks again to Tyler Durden, and I will now be re-watching Fight Club and questioning my sanity. Cheers y’all! Resources:
[ 6 ] https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=448923.msg6438910#msg6438910 - April 28th, 2014; Ursium says “We won't issue further comments regarding the Ether Sale, until we have completely finalized the framework for it. In the meantime enjoy the free technology, people are already building apps on it, which is exciting Smiley” ; this official Q&A thread then abandoned; these guys clearly hates BCT as much as I do
[ ] https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=412878.msg4497464#msg4497464 charleshoskinson, January 14th, 2014; “Current plans are for a 60 day fundraiser, starting from Miami on; however, we are still exploring this and thus will set something in stone closer to the conference.” - fundraiser launches in less than a month but date not even set yet; also “No, the rate of inflation is always decreasing and comparable with bitcoin.” and “In terms of ROI, this should be reflected with a positive ROI.” ; also “As for P2P exchange, we have a close relationship with Open Transactions and combined with a namecoin style contract provided in the whitepaper and bitmessage makes a significantly more efficient distributive exchange than is possible with BitShares. Trust is not required as auditing can be done on Ethereum blockchain and we wouldn't suffer any bloat. “
[ ] https://github.com/ethereum/wiki/wiki/White-Paper - Accessed Feb 12, 2017; shows a different version of the issuance model, including the variable presale price modification and reduced future mining. But constant mining reward is still shown and fixed.
[ ] https://forum.ethereum.org/discussion/2007/whitepaper-pdf - Thread from April 2015 where Stephen Tual says changes in whitepaper were “as to how significant these were, probably not much”; “We had a hosted copy of the WP on our .org website, but that is now pointing to the github (as the pdf, by definition, was static).”
[ ] https://bitsharestalk.org/index.php/topic,1854.0.html Thread which goes into Bytemaster response to initial Ethereum proposal; points out that running something complicated like Bitshares on Ethereum would be cost prohibitive. Also predicts Ethereum becomes PoS.
[ ] https://github.com/slockit/DAO “Our Standard DAO Framework allows people to create Decentralized Autonomous Organizations (DAOs) governed by the code in this repository written immutably to the blockchain.”
[ ] https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=428589.msg4690140#msg4690140 - “I think this whole project will get forced underground onto the Tor network in short order because the illegal stuff will be in the blockchain instead of externalized. It will have to directly compete with bitcoin with both hands tied behind its back because it will be hard for people to even find a safe copy of the program to download. Am I to understand that you will not have a legal opinion supporting what you are doing?” - Seth Otterstad
[ ] https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=428589.msg4718951#msg4718951 “We will switch our PoW from Dagger to a hybrid PoW/PoS system to be developed via a bountied competition conducted by our university partners and open to the general community for participation. The terms will be announced in late february including judges, specifications and the university partners.” - jubalix quoting some Ethereum promotional document
[ ] https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=428589.msg4740396#msg4740396 “Creating the platform with new features is one thing. Competing in the real world of hype, adoption, and social marketing with Bitcoin, Litecoin, and Dogecoin is a completely different beast. Especially, when every coin is based on ever changing software. The software is secondary to the marketing and socialization at this stage in the ballgame.” - DieJohnny
I think the Berlin Wall Principle will end up applying to Blockstream as well: (1) The Berlin Wall took *longer* than everyone expected to come tumbling down. (2) When it did finally come tumbling down, it happened *faster* than anyone expected (ie, in a matter of days) - and everyone was shocked.
Centralization is a double-edged sword. So far, centralization (and intertia, and laziness, and caution) has been favoring Blockstream. But if and when a congestion crisis comes, then the tide is gonna turn pretty quickly - and Blockstream's monopoly in terms of "code running on the network" is gonna evaporate quicker than anyone expected. How will this happen? Like this: Bitcoin is going to go into a crisis - not just the current agonizing slow-motion swamp of centralized fascist governance, but a real-time honking red alert involving a clogged-up network, with people freaking out screaming from the rooftops that millions of dollars in transactions are in limbo due to some pointless fucked-up 1 MB "blocksize limit". And at that point, people are going to get rid of the damn piece of broken cripple-code, immediately. End of story. Slow to crumble, fast to collapse Up till now, the Bitcoin governance crisis has been like slowly sinking into a swamp of quicksand. But once a real-time congestion crisis actually hits (and online forums become dominated by posts screaming "my transaction is stuck in limbo!!!"), then all the previous bullshit and bloviating from economic idiots about "fee markets" and "soft hard forks" or whatever other nonsense will be instantly forgotten. And at that point, there will be only 2 things that can happen:
Either Bitcoin dies, and $7 billion dollars in investor wealth evaporates into thin air; or
The simplest and safest "good enough" on-chain scaling upgrade gets rolled out ASAP - ie, we will get bigger blocks so fast it will make your head spin.
You don't need Blockstream - they need you When push comes to shove, people are going to remember pretty damn quick that open-source code is easy to patch. People are going to remember that you don't have to fly to meetings in Hong Kong or on some secret Caribbean island ... or post on Reddit for hours ... or spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on devs ... in order to simply change a constant in your code from 1000000 to 2000000. Eventually, we are going to remember what vote-with-your-CPU consensus looks like Remember all those hours you wasted on reddit? Remember all that time you wasted in some hidden downvoted sub-thread debating with some snarky little toxic troll who'd wandered over from a censored Milgram experiment forum full of brainwashed circlejerkers and foot-stomping fascists whose only adrenaline rush and power trip in life had evidently been when they would run around bloviating gibberish like "fee markets!" or "Austrian!" to the self-selected bunch of ignorant submissive sycophants who hadn't been banned from r\bitcoin yet? Well, when the real crisis hits, all that trivial online drama isn't going to matter any more. When the inevitable congestion crisis finally comes, it's only going to take a couple of mining pools plus a couple of exchanges to make a simple life-or-death business decision to un-install Blockstream's artificially crippled code and instead install code that has actually been upgraded to deal with the reality of mining and the marketplace - and then we're all going to see what actual vote-with-your-CPU consensus really looks like (instead of vote-with-your-sockpuppet pseudo-consensus on Reddit). This upgraded code could be Classic, or Unlimited, or even a modded version Core - it doesn't really matter. Code is code and money is money, and when push comes to shove, investors and miners aren't going to give a damn what some overpaid economic idiot from Blockstream said at some meeting in Hong Kong once, or what some fascist poisonous astroturfing shill-bot posted a million times on Reddit. Things usually move slow in Bitcoin-land - except when they move fast For an example of how fast the tide can turn, just look at a couple of major events from the past two days: (1) Coinbase is suddenly saying that:
Bitcoin looks a lot like hard-to-use antiquated assembly code - and Ethereum looks like an easy-to-use modern programming language;
Blockstream with its toxic, opaque and oppressive culture is scaring away all the new devs - who are flocking to alt-coins like Ethereum which has a healthy, transparent and welcoming culture.
Of course the good devs are flocking to Ethereum now. Any smart dev can see from a mile away that it would be suicide to try to contribute to Core/Blockstream - Blockstream don't want any new coders or new ideas, they are insular and insecure and they feel downright threatened by new coders with fresh ideas. They've shown this over and over again, eg:
when they repeatedly freaked out and went nuclear and refused to compromise whenever any dev made a simple safe scaling proposal, like 20 MB blocks, or 8 MB blocks, or 4 MB blocks, or 2 MB blocks, or Adaptive Blocks, etc etc.
scaring all the good devs and a lot of investors into alt-coins.
Blockstream has backed themselves into a corner At this point, people are starting to realize that Blockstream is a led by desperate and incompetent dead-enders. (There are some great coders over there such as Pieter Wuille - and Greg Maxwell is also a great Bitcoin coder, but he is toxic as a "leader".) Blockstream can't do capacity planning, they can't do threat assessment, they can't innovate, they can't prioritize, and they can't communicate. In the end, they're only destroying themselves - by censoring debate, and ostracizing existing innovators (eg, Mike Hearn and Gavin Andresen) - and scaring away potential new innovators. Remember, Blockstream != Bitcoin It's important to remember that Blockstream cannot destroy Bitcoin - any more than Mt Gox could. Once Blockstream is thoroughly discredited in the eyes of the Bitcoin community and the media, as "the company that almost strangled the Bitcoin network by trying to force blocks to be smaller than the average web page" - it's gonna be time for honey-badger jokes all over again. Blockstream's gargantuan conflicts-of-interest will be their downfall Blockstream is funded by insurance giant AXA - a company whose CEO is the head of the friggin' Bilderberg Group. (He's scheduled to move from CEO of AXA to CEO of HSBC soon. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.) AXA doesn't even want cryptocurrency to succeed anyways, because half of the 1 trillion dollars of so-called "assets" on their fraudulent balance sheet is actually nothing more than toxic debt-backed worthless derivatives garbage. (AXA has more derivatives than any other insurance company.) In other words, AXA's balance sheet will be exposed as worthless and the company will become insolvent (just like Lehman Brothers and AIG did in 2008) once real money like Bitcoin actually becomes dominant in the world economy - which will "uber" and knock down the whole teetering $1.2 quadrillion derivatives casino. Hmm... AIG... a giant insurance group whose alleged "assets" turned out to be just a worthless pile of toxic debt-backed derivatives on the legacy ledger of fantasy fiat, AIG who triggered the 2008 financial near-meltdown... Who does AIG remind me of... Oh yeah AXA... So let's put AXA in charge of paying for Bitcoin development! What could possibly go wrong?!? Blockstream's owners HATE Bitcoin Never forget:
This is the probably the most gigantic CONFLICT OF INTEREST in the history of economics. And it's something to think about, as we sit here wondering for years why Blockstream is not only failing to scale Bitcoin - but it's also actively trying to SABOTAGE anyone ELSE who tries to scale Bitcoin as well. So, be patient - and optimistic Viewed from one perspective, the fact that this blocksize battle has dragged on for years can be very depressing. But, viewed from another perspective, the fact that it's still going on is positive - because, for example, nobody really dares to say anymore that "blocks should be 1 MB" - since repeated studies have shown that the current hardware and infrastructure could easily handle 3-4 MB blocks, and Core/Blockstream's own precious SegWit soft-fork is going to need 3-4 MB blocks anyways. Plus, the only "strengths" that Blockstream had on its side actually turn out to be pretty weak upon closer scrutiny (money from investors like AXA who hate cryptocurrency, censorship from domain squatters who only know how to destroy communities, snark from sockpuppets who can't argue their way out of a wet paper bag on uncensored forums). In fact, if you were part of Blockstream, you'd be pretty demoralized that a rag-tag bunch of big-blocks supporters has been chipping away at you for the past few years, creating new forums, creating new coins, creating new products and services, exposing the economic ignorance of small-block dead-enders - and all the while, Blockstream hasn't been able to deliver on any of its so-called scaling roadmap. If it hadn't been for a few historical accidents (cheap energy behind the Great Firewall of China, plus the other "linguistic" firewall that has prevented many people in the Chinese-speaking community from seeing how much of the community actually rejects Blockstream, plus the other accidental fact that bigger blocks involve generalizing Bitcoin, which mathematically happens to require a hard fork), then Blockstream would not have been able to control Bitcoin development as long as it has. Yeah, they have done routine maintenance stuff and efficiency upgrades, like rewriting libsecp256k, which is great, and much appreciated - and Pieter Wuille's SegWit would be a great refactoring and clean-up of the code (if we don't let Luke-Jr poison it by packaging it as a soft-fork) - but the network also needs some simple, safe scaling. And the network is going to get simple, safe scaling - whenever it decides that it really, really wants it. And there's nothing that Blockstream can do to block that.
The following post by moe_elwardany is being replicated because the post has been openly removed. The original post can be found(in censored form) at this link: np.reddit.com/ btc/comments/7jve6f The original post's content was as follows:
Wall of text incoming please excuse all spelling and punctuation errors ,this might be the most important thing i write I'm a MALE 31,Egyptian,1.60cm,kinda ugly,depressed with social anxiety and a deformed penis. I was born with Hypospadias which is a congenital disorder that affects the urethra. this condition is often treated with surgery in infancy . but with very limited income and a special needs sister and no health insurance my parents kept postponing the procedure till they saved enough money. so I ended up doing the surgery at 14 which was a little late and lead to serious complications like NSFW peyronies disease which makes the penis horribly curved and developed fistulas which are openings in the skin of the penis and ended up with 3 pee holes so I only pee sitting and even masturbation is messy hell. with my social anxiety and crippling shyness I completely ignored my condition and went on living without ever having a wife or a gf. I first heard of bitcoin in 2012 and got pretty excited about it but never actually got around to mining until I forgot completely about it and later on i read the news about the mt gox hack but wasnt involved enough to know what this really meant for bitcoin but I thought that was it for bitcoin and that it was dead. untill around April this year thats when this amazing rally started i think and i really got into crypto but on a very small scale since i got zero disposable income and with my father dying and im left supporting my mother and 2 sisters one of whom has down syndrome. Desperate enough I did This as u see from the people just made fun of me , since then I cashed out and just got the first of 3 repair surgeries needed to restore penis functionality so bitcoin actually made me physically better, and this is amazing I see people fight about big blocks and small blocks and forks and sidechains and core and cash and I see millions of dollars being used just for publicity stunts and it bothers me a lot how much are totally missing the point of it Now I'm at a much better place thanks to bitcoin and whole of the crypto world but i just can't keep going at it alone and I have to reach out to the community maybe some some whale hodler feels sorry for me and change my life forever like all the stories we're seeing I dont want a lambo or a moon ride , I just want to be able to pee standing like a real man and maybe have sex one day who knows if you're feeling generous every satoshi or an upvote helps and I promise I'll think of you every time im having sex lets see which coin got the most aweosome community these are all fresh made paper wallets so everyone can see how his coin is doing "except Monero" you'll just have to take my word BTC 17KqPW61euAqG76XcWCRxej4NsQLrm11mb BCH 1AC7vouZJdmytPjme9PH3pP58sGxeX8VSA LTC LS9Cv3Eu1r9DhAGFK2pniWrgrL1GnTsms9 XMR 49xR9UJBgxmCiHhMUwKyCCL5xGzTGLWoyK76bvDEYA3PFx6Bf3UoLwAXCbzd3qPaGPAwLQa8H8zj366gX4QQucZoLADZxPf ETH 0x04CFafED277201EEdd7457dffe595BBc034E0403 VTC Vo3asssTBDZ8JfrXVd3PbSaAcqvqtjihBw images removed
12-14 21:12 - 'Bitcoin saved my penis' (self.Bitcoin) by /u/moe_elwardany removed from /r/Bitcoin within 4-14min
''' Wall of text incoming please excuse all spelling and punctuation errors ,this might be the most important thing i write I'm a MALE 31,Egyptian,1.60cm,kinda ugly,depressed with social anxiety and a deformed penis. I was born with [Hypospadias]1 which is a congenital disorder that affects the urethra. this condition is often treated with surgery in infancy . but with very limited income and a special needs sister and no health insurance my parents kept postponing the procedure till they saved enough money. so I ended up doing the surgery at 14 which was a little late and lead to serious complications like NSFW [peyronies disease]2 which makes the penis horribly curved and developed fistulas which are openings in the skin of the penis and ended up with 3 pee holes so I only pee sitting and even masturbation is messy hell. with my social anxiety and crippling shyness I completely ignored my condition and went on living without ever having a wife or a gf. I first heard of bitcoin in 2012 and got pretty excited about it but never actually got around to mining until I forgot completely about it and later on i read the news about the mt gox hack but wasnt involved enough to know what this really meant for bitcoin but I thought that was it for bitcoin and that it was dead. untill around April this year thats when this amazing rally started i think and i really got into crypto but on a very small scale since i got zero disposable income and with my father dying and im left supporting my mother and 2 sisters one of whom has down syndrome. Desperate enough I did [This]3 as u see from the people just made fun of me , since then I cashed out and just got the first of 3 repair surgeries needed to restore penis functionality so bitcoin actually made me physically better, and this is amazing I see people fight about big blocks and small blocks and forks and sidechains and core and cash and I see millions of dollars being used just for publicity stunts and it bothers me a lot how much are totally missing the point of it Now I'm at a much better place thanks to bitcoin and whole of the crypto world but i just can't keep going at it alone and I have to reach out to the community maybe some some whale hodler feels sorry for me and change my life forever like all the stories we're seeing I dont want a lambo or a moon ride , I just want to be able to pee standing like a real man and maybe have sex one day who knows if you're feeling generous every satoshi or an upvote helps and I promise I'll think of you every time im having sex lets see which coin got the most aweosome community these are all fresh made paper wallets so everyone can see how his coin is doing "except Monero" you'll just have to take my word BTC 17KqPW61euAqG76XcWCRxej4NsQLrm11mb BCH 1AC7vouZJdmytPjme9PH3pP58sGxeX8VSA LTC LS9Cv3Eu1r9DhAGFK2pniWrgrL1GnTsms9 XMR 49xR9UJBgxmCiHhMUwKyCCL5xGzTGLWoyK76bvDEYA3PFx6Bf3UoLwAXCbzd3qPaGPAwLQa8H8zj366gX4QQucZoLADZxPf ETH 0x04CFafED277201EEdd7457dffe595BBc034E0403 VTC Vo3asssTBDZ8JfrXVd3PbSaAcqvqtjihBw I hear you in the back shouting pics or it didn't happen so here you go,but these are extremely gross and NSFW [3 days after surgery]4 [Today]5 will keep updating and can provide further proof if needed ''' Bitcoin saved my penis Go1dfish undelete link unreddit undelete link Author: moe_elwardany 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypospadias NSFW 2: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peyronie%27s_disease 3: https://www.reddit.com/Bitcoin/comments/77tkmu/convinced_my_mom_to_sell_her_gold_to_put_in/ 4: https://imgur.com/a/yDmXS 5: https://imgur.com/a/prFHb
The following post by moe_elwardany is being replicated because the post has been silently removed. The original post can be found(in censored form) at this link: np.reddit.com/ Bitcoin/comments/7jum2c The original post's content was as follows:
Wall of text incoming please excuse all spelling and punctuation errors ,this might be the most important thing i write I'm a MALE 31,Egyptian,1.60cm,kinda ugly,depressed with social anxiety and a deformed penis. I was born with Hypospadias which is a congenital disorder that affects the urethra. this condition is often treated with surgery in infancy . but with very limited income and a special needs sister and no health insurance my parents kept postponing the procedure till they saved enough money. so I ended up doing the surgery at 14 which was a little late and lead to serious complications like NSFW peyronies disease which makes the penis horribly curved and developed fistulas which are openings in the skin of the penis and ended up with 3 pee holes so I only pee sitting and even masturbation is messy hell. with my social anxiety and crippling shyness I completely ignored my condition and went on living without ever having a wife or a gf. I first heard of bitcoin in 2012 and got pretty excited about it but never actually got around to mining until I forgot completely about it and later on i read the news about the mt gox hack but wasnt involved enough to know what this really meant for bitcoin but I thought that was it for bitcoin and that it was dead. untill around April this year thats when this amazing rally started i think and i really got into crypto but on a very small scale since i got zero disposable income and with my father dying and im left supporting my mother and 2 sisters one of whom has down syndrome. Desperate enough I did This as u see from the people just made fun of me , since then I cashed out and just got the first of 3 repair surgeries needed to restore penis functionality so bitcoin actually made me physically better, and this is amazing I see people fight about big blocks and small blocks and forks and sidechains and core and cash and I see millions of dollars being used just for publicity stunts and it bothers me a lot how much are totally missing the point of it Now I'm at a much better place thanks to bitcoin and whole of the crypto world but i just can't keep going at it alone and I have to reach out to the community maybe some some whale hodler feels sorry for me and change my life forever like all the stories we're seeing I dont want a lambo or a moon ride , I just want to be able to pee standing like a real man and maybe have sex one day who knows if you're feeling generous every satoshi or an upvote helps and I promise I'll think of you every time im having sex lets see which coin got the most aweosome community these are all fresh made paper wallets so everyone can see how his coin is doing "except Monero" you'll just have to take my word BTC 17KqPW61euAqG76XcWCRxej4NsQLrm11mb BCH 1AC7vouZJdmytPjme9PH3pP58sGxeX8VSA LTC LS9Cv3Eu1r9DhAGFK2pniWrgrL1GnTsms9 XMR 49xR9UJBgxmCiHhMUwKyCCL5xGzTGLWoyK76bvDEYA3PFx6Bf3UoLwAXCbzd3qPaGPAwLQa8H8zj366gX4QQucZoLADZxPf ETH 0x04CFafED277201EEdd7457dffe595BBc034E0403 VTC Vo3asssTBDZ8JfrXVd3PbSaAcqvqtjihBw I hear you in the back shouting pics or it didn't happen so here you go,but these are extremely gross and NSFW 3 days after surgery Today will keep updating and can provide further proof if needed
What's going on: As you may have noticed: Bitcoin is worth over 10k and EVERYBODY is talking about Bitcoin right now. Be it the early adopter who says "told you so" or the sceptic who still calls it a ponzi scheme. Besides all the good news there is a lot going on right now: South Korea's prime minister thinks that "Bitcoin corrupts the youth", Nobel Price-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz says "Bitcoin ought to be outlawed" because "it doesn’t serve any socially useful function" (people in Zimbabwe and Venezuela maybe disagree) and (this is maybe the most important development) Coinbase lost a legal battle in the US and was ordered to turn over identities of 14,355 cryptocurrency traders to the IRS. Let's look at 6 things that could make the bubble pop: 1. Destroyed by a Fork (again) While it's nice for HODLers to get free coins, excessive forking could turn out to be Bitcoin's Achilles' heel. Bitcoin Cash and the debate around who is the "real" Bitcoin and who is not could only be the beginning. 2. Killed by Regulators As mentioned Coinbase lost a court battle and now has to hand over the identities of thousands of crypto traders. Stiglitz says Bitcoin should be outlawed. While one can argue that harsh regulations like in China will make it go only stronger, it could also lead to a long crypto winter. 3. Mt. Gox 2.0 Sure, there are a lot more exchanges right now than there were when Mt. Gox was hacked in 2011 and bankrupted in 2014, but what if for example Coinbase gets hacked? $65 million were stolen in a Bitfinex hack in 2016, $31 million of the altcoin Tether were stolen a couple of weeks ago. You see: Hacks happen all the time and had not that much impact, but who knows if it stays this way? 4. Short Demise The Nasdaq wants to introduce Bitcoin futures in Q2 2018 and so do many other financial institutions. The aim is clear: They finally want their share of the juicy crypto pie. While most of the investors buy real Bitcoins and Cryptos at the moment, the introduction of financial derivates like futures could put a downward pressure on prices. 5. Profit Taking The fact that Coinbase went down because it couldn't handle all the traffic as Bitcoin crossed $10k and that Bitfinex struggles with money withdrawals shows one of the main problems cryptos right now face: scalability and liquidity. These uncertainties could make selling waves and price swings even worse when psychological barriers are crossed. 6. Death by ¯_(ツ)_/¯ My personal favorite: Unexpected things happen nearly everyday in the crypto space, so why should the beginning of a feared "crypto winter" not be started by something completely surprising? Maybe it's simply the dot-com bubble all over again: investors who have no clue how to really value high-flying assets flee for the exit en masse. Why should I care: It's totally fine that some of you may say "nah, what are you talking about ... Bitcoin has been declared dead a thousand times and is going stronger than ever". I don't like to take sides here and just want to listen to what different point of views have to say. Things are happening at a breakneck speed, so I think it's important to be realistic about the way all this will potentially go on. I know that last week I argued why Bitcoin is NOT a bubble ... but as I said: You have to be open to different perspectives and draw your own conclusions. Source:bloomberg.com, motherboard.vice.com, coindesk.comGIF:giphy.com Want to get essential news on Cryptocurrencies and everything Blockchain for free? Subscribe to Cryptomizer, the daily newsletter with the most essential news on Bitcoin and everything blockchain.
Over the past few days, the BitCoin exchange MtGox has fallen hard, due to a variety of reasons. One of the reasons being a possible hodge-podge system for tracking payments, another being the implementation of regulations for different countries. As far as we're concerned, stay away. Mt Gox was the only USD/BTC exchange we recommended since they were verified against money laundering, for the near future, we're looking to alternatives. In case you were asleep for the past few days, DogeParty happened in NY, there was a lot of shibery, some T-shirts, and a large amount of expenses. Let's go in depth with this a bit.
Most of the DogeCoin participants of the party were not very serious
I'm not trying to say that DogeCoin should be all about the serious business stuff, let's just be prepared when people on wall street (where the party happened) ask serious questions. If you want to get new "Happy-go-lucky" people to join, go to somewhere there are already happy-go-lucky people, don't ask a bunch of suit-and-tie people to throw on a Shiba Inu mask and dance like a fool. That being said, I noticed a lot of money went to pay for the party, but could not see where the expenses went, a few things were auctioned off, but of little actual retail value other than art, if we want to be taken seriously (by businesses) we need to demonstrate that we can be serious enough to have normal transactions.
Topic Change! - DIVERSIFY!
Let's face it, wit the previous BitCoin crash, and the current DogeCoin....hover (Much Confuse) we could be facing a decline or rise depending on some fuel / new investors.
It is important to diversify, nobody should place all their eggs in one basket. If you are not familiar with this, think about a basket that you placed a dozen eggs in, drop that basket and tell me what happens. (Hint: it's better to have multiple baskets held by different people)
How can you diversify?
1. Determine how much you want to diversify, I'll start, how about 50,000 DogeCoins (Half of my investment)
2. Identify Coins you want to invest in. Here's some suggestions: (MOON)(Lotto Coin)(TIPS)(VTC) All of these coins are new to the market and have relatively strong backing.
3. Sell (So Scare) some DogeCoins for BTC or LTC via Cryptsy (It's a link too!) to obtain the predetermined amount of BTC or LTC that you need (try to do some calculations since BTC->LTC and LTC->BTC trades cost money)
4. Sit Back and enjoy the stability you now have through diversification. Remember, the other coins are just a backup just in case DogeCoins tanks (Much Mutiny?)
ALL OUT WARNING!
I'm really serious about this issue, you should always stay away from coins that require you to "Buy in", let's take NEM for example.
NEM FAX (Just the FAX!)
NEM stands for "New Economy Movement" or "No Envy Movement"
NEM currently requires you to buy in to get "Shares" of the Proof-of-stake (100% Premine) coin.
In order to buy shares, you need to pay a price (Currently .06 BTC ($40)) that only stands for current investors, future investors pay more. Future investors bring the price of the coin up for earlier investors, so current investors are encouraged to find future investors. Wait...that sounds like something I've heard of...
In April, exchanges BitInstant and Mt. Gox experienced processing delays due to insufficient capacity  resulting in the bitcoin price dropping from $266 to $76 before returning to $160 within six hours.  The bitcoin price rose to $259 on 10 April, but then crashed by 83% to $45 over the next three days.  On 15 May 2013, US authorities seized accounts associated with Mt. Gox after ... Mt. Gox is a now-defunct bitcoin exchange which shut down in 2013 due to insolvency. Its internal database was leaked in March 2014, from which it was possible to build up a near-complete picture of the deposits and withdrawals of its wallets. Address reuse was also a big factor. The announcement page seen at mtgox.com was originally titled "MtGox.com is dead". That is what it got archived as in googles cache when the... Mt. Gox, a Japan-based Bitcoin exchange that was once the darling of the Bitcoin world, has effectively driven the final nail in its own coffin. Home; Video; Bitcoin Week; Write For Us; About. On Bitcoin Newsletter; Media Kit; Tracking Bitcoin news and the incredible adoption of Bitcoins! Failing Bitcoin Exchange MtGox Spreads Misinformation Creating Price Scare . February 10, 2014 News. Like ... Mt. Gox, called "Mount Gox" or simply "Gox", was the most widely used bitcoin currency exchange market from shortly after its inception in 2010 to its insolvency late 2013. The market was closed February 25, 2014 and has since filed for bankruptcy protection in Japan and the United States, after losing 640 thousand bitcoins.. A registrant on Mt. Gox had at least two sub-accounts: one for ...
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